A Complex Fire: We but Never Are.
“what do you want now?
you want me to choose you?”
“i don’t.”
“why?”
“i don’t even want to be a choice. i am not a choice.”
“but i want to be with you, as much as you do.”
“no. you just want to possess — as a manifest of your choices.”
“you’re such a complex mind.
despite all, i know you do want me.”
“yes. i admit. ‘cause who doesn’t?
but wanting you doesn’t mean i have to be with you.”
“that’s the most nonsensical thing i’ve heard this morning.”
“it’s true. everything happens only once in my lifespan. it cannot be undone. too late.”
“so, we want each other but we’re impossible?”
“we were possible.”
“how about the suffering? you wanna suffer when we can burn as hot as the fire in hell?”
“i had suffered, i had tasted hell as well. but, have you?”
“is this some kind of revenge?”
“no. don’t get it wrong. you already decided our fate. and the universe justifies that we don’t belong.”
“i’d barely decide anything.”
“you did, in your subconscious mind. and i get the message.”
“i didn’t send you any message through mind-talk. you shouldn’t be this overthinking.”
“you should be thinking more.”
“so, what will happen with us now?”
“nothing. do as you want. your behave has never involved me as your consideration anyway.”
“so, you’re hurting?”
“in some kind of ways, yes. i suffer a lot.”
“means you want me. you want me all over you. you want everything that’s me.”
“oh, don’t mind me. pain isn’t that unfamiliar.”
“but i want to end your pain.”
“and i want you to be yourself. what’s the point of loving if i cannot love the whole part of you?”
“so just do it. love me. leave my flaws alone. you can also hate me for that.”
“how can i love a person while hating his shortcomings?”
“i don’t know. but you can try. try me.”
“i let you decide the last time. but not anymore.”
“talking to you is so depressing. what’s in that complicated head?”
“you.”
“for God’s sake. i don’t understand you.”
“cause you don’t want to.”
“i do. i truly do. ok i’m sorry for making you feel like i decided something and for making you suffer when i don’t want you to.”
“i forgive you. long before you apologize.”
“is there any chance for me?”
“probably.”
“what kind of answer is that?”
“maybe we’ll meet again in our next life, in the right altitude, in the same amount of gravity. when our souls don’t forget each other, of course. and at time, it’ll be make sense.”
“i don’t think mine is ever forget you.”
“yeah. and so do mine.”
